For Mel
If you know how warm it has been of late, you would think I’m half crazy doing the things I do. Everyday now no matter how warm I feel, I have this urging need to wrap myself up, don on a sweater/ jacket and socks and snuggle underneath any big duvet. You could say I need a tight snuggle for the struggle.
I can never thank God enough for the patience He has blessed me with over this period of time. I grew.. and I believe I grew a lot. While Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, never has it been called a fruit of torture. Torture sounds really severe, well. Lack of a better description, I guess it means I gave in, and compromised on what Jesus has called me to be.. His beloved Princess. While many fall into the extreme end of claiming their “rights” – the overly excessive need to be treated like a princess by their boyfriends, how many also fall into the other end, of compromising the “right” to be preciously cherished? It’s not good to be on either ends. I realized I can’t compare the relationship now with any other relationships I’ve had not only because it has been with a different person, but also because the situations have been vastly different. So you get my drift.
I know God only wants the best for me. And uncertainty doesn’t cut it. If God already has the answers before I am faced with the challenges, then surely He will bring me through every circumstance with Glory…
He is my city of refuge and His love for me is the only thing I need. And I relish in that. I relish in the Rest where I don’t have to speak to anyone, I’m not answerable to anyone, and I don’t have to find things/ activities to do to distract me from feeling the way that I do.
And yes, I mean it too when I say I taste the inside death. I guess I allow myself to go; to feel. I allow the nausea in my mouth, the pain in my doubt, the confusion in my surety, the “I thought I know what I should do”……
I love tennis. I enjoy it so much, it hurts - physically and now, literally. to give the lessons up. I get advices all over to keep at it….. that sounds really easy. I get advices too .. to quit it.
What is worth more than tennis? Well, surely my heart. There you have it. If he should move on, why shouldn’t you?
Harmless as Doves but Wise as Serpents.
Mel – Highly regarded by God, Child of the Most High God.
I can never thank God enough for the patience He has blessed me with over this period of time. I grew.. and I believe I grew a lot. While Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, never has it been called a fruit of torture. Torture sounds really severe, well. Lack of a better description, I guess it means I gave in, and compromised on what Jesus has called me to be.. His beloved Princess. While many fall into the extreme end of claiming their “rights” – the overly excessive need to be treated like a princess by their boyfriends, how many also fall into the other end, of compromising the “right” to be preciously cherished? It’s not good to be on either ends. I realized I can’t compare the relationship now with any other relationships I’ve had not only because it has been with a different person, but also because the situations have been vastly different. So you get my drift.
I know God only wants the best for me. And uncertainty doesn’t cut it. If God already has the answers before I am faced with the challenges, then surely He will bring me through every circumstance with Glory…
He is my city of refuge and His love for me is the only thing I need. And I relish in that. I relish in the Rest where I don’t have to speak to anyone, I’m not answerable to anyone, and I don’t have to find things/ activities to do to distract me from feeling the way that I do.
And yes, I mean it too when I say I taste the inside death. I guess I allow myself to go; to feel. I allow the nausea in my mouth, the pain in my doubt, the confusion in my surety, the “I thought I know what I should do”……
I love tennis. I enjoy it so much, it hurts - physically and now, literally. to give the lessons up. I get advices all over to keep at it….. that sounds really easy. I get advices too .. to quit it.
What is worth more than tennis? Well, surely my heart. There you have it. If he should move on, why shouldn’t you?
Harmless as Doves but Wise as Serpents.
Mel – Highly regarded by God, Child of the Most High God.
posted by Mxx at 11:56 AM
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